A friend of the family was diagnosed with creutzfeld-jakob disease, a prion illness similar to mad cow disease. He has months to live and will spend that time in a hospital bed losing control over his body and mind.
I am having a really hard time wrapping my brain around it… This kind of thing happens to nameless patients on House, not to a man who carried me off-stage in the Nutcracker as a little kid. He is very involved in the Village, an active member of the fire department, and has three kids in their 20s who lost their mother to cancer just a few years ago.
It’s hard not to just sink into a grey world of anger. Not to let the “this is so unfair, haven’t they suffered enough” take over… it’s happening, and no anger or frustration will fix that.
I am somewhat (unfortunately) accustomed to death, but this is a new thing for me. This is grieving for a vibrant man while he’s still alive, this is caring for a family that will have to watch their father deteriorate over the next few months, this is wanting to do something for a friend who will soon not recognize his children any more.
… So that’s it, I have to *do* something. I just haven’t figured out quite what yet. But when the right thing comes along, I’ll know…