It’s Oscar time again, and once more I’m nestled into my parents’ living room with the fam, munching on Chinese food and watching the show.
– Ellen’s opening monologue was almost too kind, like they’re trying to come back hard from some of the snarkier hosts… but I like it. I like her. So we’re all good hah.
– Jordan Catalano just won an Academy Award, yo. Dear 90’s me, you’ll never believe what just happened! They let him talk longer than I thought they would… but he had some good stuff to say, go Jared 🙂
– Nice shimmy, Meryl! Way to start the show with such a fun song in the first half hour.
– How many more times will Ellen reference Jonah’s penis?
– Harrison Ford’s earring & goatee & hairstyle all combine to form an interesting… image.
– Oh Kim Novak. It’s hard to look at you, dear.
– French animation nerds, I ❤ you. The only nominee out of that group that I saw was "Get A Horse", which was awesome, but I really ought to make an effort to see some of these others. I know I say that every year, but… yeah.
– I know who **I** want to win best feature… I love Despicable Me, and I love that they're nominated, but it's gotta be Frozen… and it is, yay!
– I adore Sally Field's dress, that beading!
– This "heroes" montage is like a list of my favorites and a list of what I should be watching. Awesome.
– Seriously, HOW did the Lone Ranger get so many nominations?
– How to tell you're a nerd? Your favorite movies are all nominated for visual effects and tech awards.
– I'm sure Gravity deserved it, but it would've been SO cool to see Star Trek win an Oscar 😉
– Karen O, not yelling. Odd.
– Every year, somehow I forget just how awkward and stilted all the presentations can be. Every year it surprises me when everyone seems ill at ease, fumbling through their words. Such is the Oscars, baby.
– When Ellen offered pizza, Kerri Washington's hand went up ALMOST as fast as Jason's. Awesome.
– So that singing was a little awkward (20 feet from stardom), but Bill Murray stood up SO fast. As dad said "that was awkward, I'm for it".
– I love Kevin Spacey's voice, he's just a pleasure to listen to.
– Oh Tyler Perry. I've heard you've done some decent stuff, but there's just SO much crap, it's hard to wade through. Your name just kind of makes me want to roll my eyes.
– U2, you still bore me. Sorry.
– That McDonalds commercial was pure genius, seriously. "Mine took video."
– That group selfie was lovely! Jennifer Lawrence was sitting on Meryl Streep's lap… then Cumberbatch photobombed Brad Pitt. ❤
– Ok so as much as I know Lupita is going to win, she's gotta, but I would really love to see Jennifer Lawrence pick up another Oscar. This is one hell of group, they should just all win. And there she goes, congrats Lupita!!
– Ellen actually did it… Brad Pitt is passing out paper plates while the pizza delivery guy distributes. This is fantastic. This whole family is VERY worried about whether or not Kerri Washington will get her slice!!
– So, this new motion picture museum? That looks *amazing*, I WILL meet there in 2017!
– Bill Murray & Amy Adams, lovely. "You're the brains, tell them about the shooters". And then he adds in Harold Raymis for Caddyshack, Ghostbusters & Groundhogs Day! (Cinematography.) Presh.
– They played "Cups" when Anna Kendrick came out, nice!
– I'm still not sure yet whether this Wizard of Oz tribute is going to be painful or awesome… let's find out! Alright, Pink, home run. Beautiful.
– Ellen is working those wings, love the Glinda outfit!
– Garner & Cumberbatch in the same place, be still my heart! I love you both, and your cheekbones.
– Set design and production to Gatsby. It may not have been an amazing movie, but Baz knows how to do *beautiful*.
– Another Heroes montage, another long list of loves and want-to-sees!
– Another great commercial, the mini Pepsi can!
– Carmen Zapata, It's still weird that we lost Paul Walker, Peter O'Toole, Richard Griffiths, Sid Caesar, (The battlestar galactica/star wars designer?), Esther Williams… Aw, no Ralph Waite.
– Bette sounds amazing, but it looks like she had trouble opening her jaw! And the arrangement was terrible… but again, she SOUNDS amazing.
– I'm not sure what Travolta said when he introduced Idina, but that's ok. It's Frozen time! … rough start for her, but she really shines on the high notes anyway, wait for it… Damn girl.
– Jaime Foxx brought his own theme song. Ok so it was borrowed from Chariots of Fire but it's all good.
– And any oscar goes to… Gravity! 😉
– I pretty much want anyone but U2 to win best song… and it goes to Frozen! I’m so glad it did, because their speech was amazing! They have the two luckiest daughters. Let’s do frozen 2!
– Ellen passing the hat… boy that lady can get away with just about anything. Lupita’s lip balm!
– Writers are weird, ’nuff said, you know I’m right.
– Sidney Poitier, it was LOVELY to see you tonight.
– Was not expecting Daniel Day Lewis!
– McCannaghey has really come along way while still being the exact same guy. Alright 😉
– Will Smith gives the big one… “And the Oscar goes to… 12 Years!” Congrats, wow! Somehow I didn’t know Cumberbatch was in it… now I suppose I must go see this movie.
– Well, that was lovely. Another year well done.
It’s Oscar Time!
Ah the Academy Awards, one of my favorite nights. Winter is long, and by this point it’s just grating on my soul… so I’m all for embracing a whole night of glitz, glamour, and sitting around with my family ripping on it all.
And through it all, I’ll be blogging about it right here!
Seth McFarlane… he really was made for this stage. He’s got the jokes, the presence, and the *voice*!
Now, I was just starting to wonder where the opening sketch was, then the Shatner-screen dropped in. This is a marvelously non-traditional way to kick things off! We saw your boobs (the gay men’s chorus!), the way you look tonight, the “another rubber tree” song, and be our guest. How Hollywood, how classy! Well done, Seth and company 🙂 (I love you, Channing Tatum.)
**Best Supporting Actor**: Christoph Waltz! I called it with one second to spare… not based on anything real, just ’cause I think he’s adorable. If you didn’t see him on SNL, catch it online! (Side note, Samuel Jackson looks awesome.)
Alan Arkin (Argo), DiNiro (Silver Linings), PS Hoffman (The Master), TLJ (Lincoln), Waltz (Django).
Paul Rudd & Melissa McCarthy on The Actor’s Voice… off to a slow start, but funny! Melissa really is pretty… but it’s a no on the hair, dear.
**Best Animated Short**: Paperman! The only one out of all of them that I’ve actually seen, huzzah!
**Best Animated Feature**: Brave! I mean, it’s a Pixar movie, so we can’t possibly be surprised. Nice kilt, buddy 🙂
Our first look at the nominees for Best Picture… honestly, it’s a really thin category for me this year. I have no desire to see Les Mis or Life of Pi, but Beasts of the Southern Wild looks pretty cool.
Now… the Avengers presenting for **Cinematography**. They traded a few tasteful barbs, but that was a little… eh. Nothing special. And the dude who won for Life of Pi? Welcome to earth dear?
What HAPPENED between RDJ and Sammy there?
**Visual Effects**: This is a tough one, I’d love it if pretty much anything other than Life of Pi won, but we all know that won’t happen… and it goes to Life of Pi. Feh.
OMG. The “Get Off the Stage” music… is Jaws? That was super-obnoxious.
So, Jennifer Anniston joins the delicious Channing Tatum for the “Make Us Pretty” awards. I loved the little haunted look on his face when talking about waxing… heh.
**Best Costume Design**: Anna Karenina. It’s really a category that I don’t have much to say about, save that *all* of the nominated movies were absolutely gorgeous.
**Best Makeup and Hairstyling**: Les Mis. Some days I really feel like I’m the only one not taken in by this show.
The Bond tribute – well done! A short montage (of course) followed by Shirley Bassey (who as mom helpfully pointed out is 75) KILLING Goldfinger.
**Best Short Film**: Really not a category I ever got into much, but some cool stuff comes out of short films! So, Curfew it is.
**Best Documentary Short Film**: Innocente. Looks cool, I should check it out!
More Best Picture looks… Argo and Lincoln are the two I still plan on seeing at some point. Zero Dark Thirty is a must-see, but on my own time… at home. At some point.
And now, Benjamin Affleck! (‘Cause he’s so respectable and stuff.)
**Best Documentary Feature**: In a category full of topics like AIDS and war, it’s just fascinating that Searching for Sugar Man gets the award! Congrats guys.
**Best Foreign Nation Film**: Check it, a Norwegian nominee! Amour wins it (or as Seth called it earlier, “This is 80”.)
This is a surprise to me… the Academy Orchestra plays live… at a building down the street? Crazy!
Travolta is here to talk about Movie Musicals… and cannot pronounce ANY names (save the Scandinavian one.) Oh well, CZJ is singing now, so who cares! “All That Jazz” was and is one of the most bombastic numbers, LOVED it. I could’ve done without Jennifer Hudson’s number… she’s talented, but just not my bag. She also just still looks slightly wrong to me.
Well, I guess it’s time for the big Les Mis number. Who, in the audience, will cry on camera first? Anne Hathaway’s dress for this number is incredible… but really, this is awful, c’mon.
Chris Pine and Zoe Saldana get to talk about the techies. Trekkies for tech!
So, Wahlberg and TED. Movie magic!!
**Sound …Mixing?**: Life of Pi and Les Mis in the same category… who’s more heartfelt? Oh, Les Mis it is!
**Sound Editing**: Oh look, Life of Pi is nominated again… wait, “No BS, we have a tie.” That happens? Crazy! Zero Dark Thirty takes the first. And the second is for Skyfall. How great! Awful lot of long-haired blonds this year.
Georg VonTrapp, where are you? “They’re gone!” And now, the real Christopher Plumber 🙂
**Actress in a Supporting Role**: “You’re right, they’re going to give it to Anne.” I love her, I do. I’m totally ok with this. What was the thing taped to the bottom of the seat? Was she hiding treats?
The President of the Academy announced the upcoming museum, and I can’t WAIT to check that out. Loved the college kids who are presenting.
**Best Film Editing**: Argo, congrats!
Oh Jennifer Lawrence… you’ve been such a beacon of grace when it comes to issues addressing your weight, and yet you stepped on stage looking like a scared twig. Adele, however, looks about a thousand times better than she did at the Grammys. It’s amazing what a good dress can do for a girl!
The last segment of Best Picture nominees – Silver Linings Playbook, Django Unchained, & Amour. Good stuff.
Radcliffe & Stewart… “everything the Christian-right says is wrong with Hollywood”.
**Production Design**: Lincoln, how wonderful!
And now, Salma Hayek (the most understandable in a set of three including Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz) brings us the Governor’s Awards. Hollywood humanitarians!
Clooney lends his dignity (and profoundly Stromsten-like hair) to the “In Memoriam” segment… which I LOVE. But I am not really a fan of the fact that they’ve added some overly-heartfelt song over it in recent years.
Chicago cast, you’re awkward but adorable. You managed to make my baby BROTHER feel old, though, since you won BP 10 years ago… wow.
**Best Original Score**: Life of Pi. Well, it’s been a while since we’ve seen them on stage. “My beautiful FOX family…” (Brendan: “I want a family of foxes!”)
**Best Original Song**: Nora Jones is here singing Seth’s very own “Everybody Needs a Best Friend”, presh! Skyfall wins, and it deserves it, it’s pretty awesome. Still, would’ve been cool if Ted won.
Pink Panther music got MOM’S attention.
The ever-lovely Charlize Theron seems to just keep getting more gorgeous with time, talk about aging incredibly gracefully!
**Best Adapted Screenplay**: Brendan’s calling this one for Silver Linings… ATOGT, Argo!
**Best Original Screenplay**: Tarantino for Django Unchained, and the little brother is SHOCKED. How great! That was a *marvelous* speech, well done. And what a dork 🙂
Jane Fonda and Michael Douglas, second generation Hollywood “royalty”… she’s definitely double-dipping in her own closet. Looks like an 80’s frock…
**Best Director**: Life of Pi, hi again. Meh.
**Best Actress**: Jean is back! Mom’s happy. Jennifer Lawrence, awesome! And what a lovely graceful little fall.
Meryl Streep, we saw that wedgie pick 🙂
**Best Actor**: “We hope Joaquin Phoenix is on his meds.” Daniel Day Louis wins it for Lincoln, wow, nice! Enjoy your farm, you deserve it. Wish I could’ve seen you as Margaret Thatcher, though.
**Best Picture**: Jack Nicholson, you’re a wack job. Love it. How sneaky, though, he was there to introduce Michelle Obama! Aw, that was cute.
Amour
Argo
Beasts of the Southern Wild
Les Miserable
Life of Pi
And ARGO takes Best Picture (as announced by Mrs. Obama). Congrats to the three sexiest producers alive!
And another Academy Awards ceremony is behind us… that was marvelous! Now, looking forward to another year of movie M A G I C.
HERE’S TO THE LOSERS!
Trends of the night: Gunmetal silver and lipstick stains on cheeks. Both look good on everyone 🙂